Pphhhhtttt!!

holla to my fellow HPs from the vegas airport. i'm still alive - not sure how and really hurting fromthe 30th bday festivities. this keyboard challenges me will write more later....ayyyy ayy ayyyyyy to hp03 you kick ass!! run fast like cheetah!!

Hmmph.

Well, the delinquent HP06 had her running pride walked all over on her last attempt at running. HP06 happily went out at lunchtime to run the "road runner" - one who is over 6 feet and runs about 10+ miles just on the weekends. So proud was she that she kept up with him, was able to string two words together before the wheezing kicked in - and even made it up capital hill (or part of it). She also thought she heard a wheeze from the road runner a few times. Then, once back at her cubicle (still wheezing) she overhead said running partner describe the run as slow - hmph. HP06 still stands by the statement that she heard wheezing on the run that wasn't from her - even if the run was "slow".

HP03 I'll be looking for you at miles 14 and 15 - I'll be jumping in at 15 to go the rest of the way (hopefully) with a friend. good luck!

Forever the professional, HP02 gives the HR Mafia the Bird and a big “Neener, Neener”

Well after weeks of constant ambiguous speculation and posturing, HP02 has managed to land the job she wanted, by-passing the HR department AND the temp agency, telling them they can take their “look-at-me, I’m-in-control-of-your-career” attitude and stick it where the sun don’t shine. Yihaw! In a very risky move, HP02 gave the corporation a taste of their own medicine by refusing to commit to anything until it was in writing, using job offer A to extract job offer B. Now all that has to be done is a background check and drug test. If it all comes out smoothly HP02 will be officially the best, highest paid little secretary in the entire military industrial complex!! Now damage control is in full effect, because we all know the dumbest thing one can do is piss off HR indefinitely. And the damage control had to extend to the rejected VP who had originally offered job A…he was contacted and holds no hard feelings.
Agenda looking forward: 1. master the legislative process, 2. get the master’s degree paid for, 3. get a security clearance, and 4. stage a coup and rise up as VP of Legislative Affairs.

Last weekend for HP05...

HP05 has had quite the busy week. She has been meaning to blog for last weekends workout, so here she goes. Last weekend was not your ‘typical’ workout setting. HP05 had the privilege of attending her friends blessing (a 1 year renewal of their vows), in other words, a wedding. That always means, good times!! Not only did HP05 attend the wedding, she helped hotpantsweddingplanner/triathlete make the furniture for the reception. Staple gunning is a workout all on its own!!
After the wedding, everyone went to her “Cheers” bar. There, she was received with a warm welcome by HP06 and many other friends. LOVE that. HP05 and HP06 had a good workout of dancing, dancing and more dancing.

I think at one point we even started wrestling, or slow dancing.

Sunday should have been spent in bed or my couch. Instead, HP05 and HP06 went to the Redskins game. Wondering how that counts as a work out? First of all, it’s a mile walk from the metro to the stadium. Each Way! There is 2 miles right there. Second, when your seats are 3 rows from the top, that is A HECK OF A LOT of stairs to climb at FedEx field. Then there was more dancing. Okay, not by us, but by a little group called The Funky 4. I am luckily enough to be friends with #3. Just watching them was a workout enough for HP05 and HP06.



This weekend, HP05 is going to try and ‘catch’ HP03 at different spots as she flies through the Marine Corps Marathon. HP03 ROCKS!!!

So close, but so far...

ta.per
v.
1. to stop in one's tracks
2. to cut down to zero

adj.
1. lazy

n.
1. slacker
2. HP03


HP03 has a marathn to run in less than three days. She hasn't run at all this week. She is freaking out. She opened, and has eaten half the bag of tootsie rolls that HP04 gave her for post-race celebration. HP03 told HP01, aka team master of serious/consistent training, that she hasn't run this week and HP01's face dropped a little and HP03 caught it -- besides HP01 sold her straight face out when she followed the "catch" with, well, er, maybe you should leave early to beat the dark tonight. Check.
I will run. I will run. I say it because, at this point, I need to hear it. I will run. Damnit.

Freedom Lovin' Goo

This weekend HP02 & HP04 got up at the butt ass crack of dawn (6:30 on a Saturday - seriously people it wasn't even light out!) to run the Alexandria Breast Cancer Run/Walk in the rain this Saturday. The only reason I really got up was for the promised breakfast to follow the race. After the race we headed to an Old Town classic - the Royal - for a post race refueling. I have 5 words for you ladies - "$8.99 all you can eat". While it gave HO02 some serious indigestion and left HP04 full for the remainder of the weekend (I'm still a little shocked at how much I ate) I'm thinking this should become a staple for all local post race meals. AND on Saturday mornings - there's some eye candy to be had at the Royal as well.... It was sooooo goood!!!!!

After lunch HP04 headed home in hopes of a nap but instead had to get ready for a friends baby shower. HP04 showered up and was running around her room trying to get ready as tired as can be really wanting to lay down for just 5 minutes when she stepped on a goo packet (what you don't keep your goo on the floor on your bedroom?). I immediately thought to myself - "wow those goo packets are strong" Now, here's the good part. Did I pick up and move said goo packet? No - why would I do that? (Truth be told I was a really tired and the thought of bending over was too much!) Not 1 minute later I step on the damn pack again and chocolate goo shoots clear across my bedroom and then as I attempted to hop off I the last little bit throws up on my carpet. I don't know what the chocolate goo pack had against me - I thought for sure it had some fight in it left but it died in a final burst of glory - I think it just wanted to be free. So there I am naked (oh yes, did I mention that part I was in the process of getting dressed) trying to clean chocolate goo off my carpet. I think this definitely falls into the category of "bad naked". It took me almost 30 minutes to clean up all the goo from my carpet. I tried to get a full room shot so you could all see how far goo can go when it takes flight but it was too hard to see so you'll have to make do with the last burst.

So my fellow HP's here are the lesson's learned this weekend:

1. Chocolate goo is very sticky and difficult to remove from carpet
2. Chocolate goo looks like poo
3. Goo packs cannot withstand the weight of a full grown woman
4. Cleaning goo up off the carpet naked is not sexy
5. Chocolate goo can shoot clear across a room when the packet blows.
6. Goo loves freedom

I hope these lessons are helpful my friends!

Y'all just a bunch of jealous pirates...

OK, it's been a week since the race and HP03 has finally come home to roost, I mean post. What can she say, her BossLady is like, making her do work this week, gawd.

TCP is where the party's at. Hootie Hoo! Sub-Team 360!
And HP01, 05, and 06 were surely rocking V-for-victory-strings under their hot pants.

Alright, HP03 gets it, any shorts she wears show her ass. What can she say, her ass loves frrreedom and despite their heated debates, she can't convince her booty that W is a total asshole. I mean, you'd think with the way W hates on men who like ass, that HP03's boot would feel discriminated against...

Anyway...so the spirit of the TRI was tri-rific, but that run was a bitch. Hills, hills, hills. HP03 is officially changing her middle name. HPHills03. Let's see, race highlights................the run start was a death trap and all she could think about was how worried HP04 was about HP03 rolling her ankle two weeks before the marathon and it being her fault........HP03 tried to pace herself against a 21year-old cross-country runner, it...um....didn't really work out...............at one point she was running past this guy wearing a Navy mankini that said Kennedy Carrier Group etc, which was the carrier HP03's dad served on so she said, "Alright, go Navy (and flashed him in preparation for the big game)!" And then suddenly the uber-hill got even steeper and she was no longer "passing" this guy, but was running at the exact same pace, which was....awkward. Not being so hot-t with the awkward moments she said, "So uh, Navy huh? My dad served on Kennedy back in the day." He looked at her and cheerfully said, "Oh really? That's great." But HP03 could tell he meant to say get the fuck out of here. So...... she did..........Lastly, at the finish line, some old maniac came flying up behind HP03 (she was apparently his pace car) to pass her at the very end. Since she was also flying -- the result of starting a run with a brief stint of levitation -- she didn't know what the hell the noise was that was bearing down on her. Yup, just an old man warming up for his heart attack. OK, buddy, you win!

After the race HP03's right leg was super sore. In an effort to take her tapering phase to the extreme, she ran.....once. Four miles on Thursday morning. BUT there was a hill. A big hill. SB (who HP03 is currently accepting clever blog nicknames for) suggested the pair take on the monster hill as part of the early morning jaunt. When HP03 moaned and protested on behalf of her hips, SB got huffy, at which point, HP03 said, "Ugh, fine let's do it. You're making me feel like a pussy." "A what?" Yes, thank you HP02 for making 'pussy' part of HP03's daily vernacular. Very classy. Anyway, HP03 rocked that muther and left pushy SB in her dust. Admittedly, there were points where she wanted to stop, but she remembered the hill she was able to mount the weekend before and she pushed on and cruised up yet another, slightly less painful hill on the return trip. Boo yeah.

The marathon is less than a week away. HP03 is nervous-ish, but excited. Ten miles this weekend and a few sumptin' sumptins next week.

Despite ChicagoHotPants' irritation with her screaming legions of fans, HP03 still wants her body markings to be dominated by her name. But there is a problem, most runners write it on their arms and HP03 will likely be wearing her fancy, long-sleeved tissue/shirt so.....she's thinking she'll scribble it on her bum.

yes....hose yourself down you naughty boy!!!!

now, let's get those wet clothes off you!

Saving Boobs and Hiding Booty

On the way back from the tri on Sunday HP04 convinced HP02 to join her in running a 5K to raise funds to fight breast cancer. After HP02 agreed HP04 realized she'd need some new sneakers to make it through. A trip to favorite running store Pacers resulted in the purchase of a new pair of kicks that will undoubteldy launch HP04 into the ranks of super fast runner but not quite at the level of HP03.

HP04 pussed out when it came to the super fast running shorts (aka booty shorts) and instead got the more conservative shorts. Not putting in as many miles as HP03 I do not have to worry about the chafe that hits around mile 13.


For those of you who have not gotten a good look at the booty shorts of which I speak here's a closer look - note the butt cheek hanging out as HP03 dashes across the finish line. I think perhaps its not that the shorts are skimpy but because she's running so fast the shorts can't stay on her body. Someday I, too, will run so fast my clothes fly off!!!!!

Btw - HP04 did pilates on Monday with HP01 ( a quiet class with not a single farter!!!) and went for a run afterwards. I ground pounded again on Wednesday and hope to hit the happy trails for a quick janut this afternoon!

HP03 I think this cosutme would be much more appropriate game day attire for you! It's waterproof so it won't matter if the young sailors spill beer on you and its got a hat, cuffs and a cape!

Aayyyy yaaayy yaaaay yaaaaay!!!

HP04 apologizes for not having posted earlier about her first weekend of triathalon and camping, but I swear I froze out one too many blood cells in the horribly cold lake- my brain just hasn't been right all week! Me thinks perhaps I may have to rethink my potential career as a coast guard rescue swimmer. Damn, think of all the hot men I could have met....I'm going to make up for it with a long ass post!!!

HP04's first triathalon weekend was a huge success!!!!!

First, camping kicks ass!!! I had so much fun and can't wait to do it again! I never knew why everyone made such a fuss about camping but I have been enlightened. Where else can you make pie in a fire and have cookies for breakfast???? Shout out to HP05 the master wilderness pastry chef! I'm still dreaming about her pie!!!

And I must say while some doubted me I'm a pretty damn good camper - Exhibit A. I make a damn good fire! Note, the concentration as I strategically place each piece of kindling finishing off my masterpiece!!!!




The taking of my camping flower was made all that more special because of that certain someone who was able to make a guest appearance and share it with me on Saturday night. No other than CoachHotSpeedo's trusty steed - Norman Bates. How could you not love this face????

I'd like to take this opportunity to throw a special shout out of thanks to CoachHotSpeedo for loaning me his dog for the night on Saturday. Camping is all that much better with a dog (although HP03 don't think I didn't miss talking about boys). Here's Norman and I waking from out 11 hour slumber on Sunday morning (Blistex still in hand).

And then there was the triathalon! First, I can't begin to tell you how impressed with all the HP's performance but particularly with HP01 and HP05 who did the whole damn thing with both poise and finesse! Aayyyy yyaaaaaayyy yaaaaaayyy!!!! You girls kick ass! HP06 - you get a shout out for telling that butt ass cold lake to bite you and hopping on your bike to do your biathalon!

As for my awesome relay teammates, where to begin??!?!?!?! HP02 - I don't know what fall you're speaking of I only saw you leap off your bike like a gazelle. As she tore into the transition area her look of blue steel froze the competition in their steps. I have no doubt it was one of our greatest secret weapons!
And HP03 you're so damn fast you're levitating. Who jumps straight in the air to take off running????









And then there was my performance. The swim was truly traumatic but I survived and can't wait to do another!! I know you readers have heard about how cold the water was from HPO1 but you're just not getting it - it was FREEZING!!!!

As I jumped in the water ready to take on that gnarly lake only to take a couple of strokes and lift my head gasping for air in an asthmatic fit. There was a moment I though I was going to meet my maker but was dammed if I was going down in Shernando Lake!!! So, I convinced myself to keep going. As I rounded the half way point - I began to feel better only to enter the field of molesto aquatic life. There's been great discussion as to what plant life the underwater field that we swam through was and I don't have the answer. I only know that from the way those plants were touching me, I really think they really ought to have at least bought me dinner first!!! I finished in 17:47, 4 minutes slower than I had hoped but given the water temp and my inability to breathe I'm quite pleased.


A brief recap on the race and an insight into the fierce competition....Here's the first swimmer emerging (pic on right) he was clearly more familiar with swimming in arctic water than us... I think he should have been disqualified. Clearly his wet suit was NOT regulation! BOOOOOOOO!!!!

And god bless him, the last swimmer - he swam his heart out and he finished in a speedo none the less!!! HP01 and myself were somewhere in the middle. I have pics but they are not fit for public viewing...(do you know how hard it is to look cute coming out of 62 degree water soaking wet in a dayglo orange swim cap???)


So....what next? First, I'm going to get prepared for the next swim with a gear purchase which will undoubtedly become my secret weapon! This suit (see pic on right) will serve multiple purposes. Not only will I look smoking hot and undoubtedly have many marriage offers from hot triathalon men but I will stay toasty warm! I'm going after the first place swimmer! He's got nothing on me with my secret weapon. mmoooohhahahahahhahahahah!!!!

Thanks to every HP, superfan, and coach out there! You have made this experience so great and I am so psyched to take on the next tri (and I'm in the next one for the whole thing!!) Aaaaaayyyy yaaaaayyayayayaya!!!!

First triathlon season complete!

Yes, HP05 has completed her first triathlon season, which ended with her team. It was by far the best race she has ever had. Not time wise (stupid cold water, wind and up hills!) but feeling wise. See, this has been a good/bad summer for HP05. After a very hard first triathlon in Florida with a great friend (also her first triathlon season) who got her started in this crazy world, HP05 wasn’t sure if this sport was right for her. However, she had already invested A LOT of $$ in Carlos, and she is not a quitter. So after more training, a sprit triathlon in July, 2 months of PT on her knees, a bike accident (therefore dropping out of a race because she couldn’t shift or brake on Carlos or swim), HP05 became HP05 and starting to run again, swim again, and bike again. Finishing this race felt great. It was awesome to be apart of HP01’s first triathlon! It was awesome to be apart of HP04’s first camping and race experience! It was awesome to be apart of HP06’s biathlon! After 2 hours and 28 minutes, HP05 knew she gave everything she had and it felt great. Thanks HP’s for the help up the hill. Thanks for the cowbell! I think we all kicked butt because of the Pie Iron!


To see HP05's pictures

HP05 did not take all the pictures. Thanks to the other HP's for capturing the moment.

Lucky for HP02, RedHeads drink Free at Madams Organ

So tonight HP02 went to the salon for a seasonal hair color change....and truth be told, she kind of wishes this decision had been made last week, because then that post-tumble picture would have just felt hotter. Yes, I'll admit it: HP02 fell off her bike inches from the finish line. Like the girls said, the last mile or two of the course was a NASTY NASTY hill, one that rendered extremities useless and motor skills completely non-functional. At the moment of truth, when it really mattered, HP02 forgot how to clip out on the left side and down she went...Ricardo toppling on her spent body. Actually, after having riden for an hour and 22 minutes in the same position, that slap of the pavement on the left side actually felt really good, invigorating in a wierd, I-Just-crashed-2-ft-from-the-finish-line sort of way. Unfortunatly, HP03 failed to see the silver lining in the situation and was jumping out of her skin as HP02 cautiously walked to the transition area. After the chip hand-off, HP03 turned on her jet engines and FLEW so fast that HP02's head was spinning, and probably everyone in a 1/2 mile radius. Seriously, HP03 is an exceptional athlete, and HP02 is thoroughly convinced that she will come in FIRST PLACE at the Marine Corps Marathon...and Team Caliente Pantalones will be there to control the crowd of autograph-seekers. This girl rocks the party that rocks the body...

HP02 has to give HP04 her *snaps* for a spectacular performance, despite her afflictions. As a former asthmatic, HP02 is 100% impressed by HP04's swim in Lake Sherando. Not only did HP04 finish with a great time (in 62 degree water), but she gave THE BIRD, actually 2 BIRDS, to fucking asthma, and I am following up with #3&4!!!

HP01...so proud of this girl! If you would have heard the conversation 3 months ago at the EveningStarCafe, you would know what a kick ass accomplishment this is!
She got in touch with her inner-elite-athlete (in addition to the inner-CowBell), and look what happened!

But none of this would have taken place if it werent for that fatefull happy hour on the Reef roof, when HP05 first planted the triathlon idea in HP02's mind by introducing her to the world of the competing athlete. And this weekend, not only did HP05 overcome injuries, but by the time the race was over she was high-fiving everyone in the lunch line...

HP06 rocked the kazbah with her exemplary time between the bike-ride and run. Her ability to hop off the bike and successfully transition into the run makes her the HPSmoothOperator- I, on the other hand, smoothly transitioned from the bike to the ground...

HPo2 is so proud of these exceptional atheletes!! Once she is gainfully employed HP02's first order of business is to spring for the first round at the first (of many) TCP happy hours!

Go Navy!

In a preemptory move, HP03 buys her gear for the big game. Coo coo ca-choo.

HOT-T LADIES!

TeamCalientePantalones, Pre-Race



TeamCalientePantalones, Post-Race


View ALL Race Photos from HP01's camera

HP01 BEAVERHAUSEN completes first full TRI

A loud ayyyy yaaaay yaaaay yaaaaay to TeamCalientePantalones for successfully completing the Sherando Sprint Triathlon! Despite the 62 degree water and the endless 1.5 mile hill-mountain at the end of the bike AND run, HP01 finished the Sherando Sprint Triathlon in 2 hours and 53 minutes, 8 minutes ahead of her 3-hour goal. Here’s the breakdown, with narrative:

Swim time…26:07…The water was so ass-cold that HP01 could not get enough oxygen into her lungs doing the free-style. So it was breast stroke all the way, baby, for survival! It was like a scene out of the Titanic movie with people dropping like flies and holding on to floating wood! What kind of idiot swims ½ mile in 62-degree water without a wetsuit? Answer: HP01! The fans on the beach enjoyed HP01’s shout-out while swimming, ayyyy yaaaay yaaaay yaaaaay!

Transition time…5:29…HP01 was recovering from hypothermia and chatting with HP04, while searching for a hot cup of coffee. Where’s a fucking Starbucks when you need one?

Bike time…1:33:43…a rather enjoyable ride for HP01 through the mountain roads. Lots of goo needed to get through the hills, in particular the BEAST at the end. Neil held up well and there were no major incidents to report. The ride did pass by the mobile home of the fat, shirtless local who sold us a bushel of firewood. Interesting fella! HP01 hopes the picture of him turns out.

Transition time...2:53…at this point, HP01’s legs are like jelly, but hypothermia has subsided. HP03 gives encouraging words about the run “a walk in the park,” (which was a total lie).

Run time…45:10…SLOW POKE! But who cares? HP01 was dying at the end and was just glad to be done. She is thankful to HP03 & HP04 who walked/ran with her the last 1.5 miles (up the BEAST mountain) while humming the Rocky theme music. Thanks ladies!

Now for the lighting round: HP’s got the last campsite; Camping kicked ass; food was excellent; old-lady dog was rejuvenated; weather was perfection; gear held-up; ate “freedom fries” at the Tasty Freeze; cowbell inspired yet another group of athletes, and of course, the fans rocked the HOUSE (mom, CoachHotSpeedo, and all the canines).

Coming soon, HP01’s official pictures.

Too much Too Late: HP02 Gets her Proverbial 'Shit Together' 36 hours before the Race

Tonight after HP02 signed off of the Team Calientes Pantalones conference call, after hauling ass home, picking up drycleaning and hauling it back to Gtown for pilates class, she walked in and realized that pilates class is at 6, not at 6:30. UG! In a moment of immature panic she decided against walking in late and having everyone look at her, so to punish herself for her lack of evolution she decided tonight was race night. With nothing but her contempt for that lame excuse for a reporter Lou Dobbs on the TV to fuel her, she decended on the stationary bike with much fury. Its at times like these when you wish music television actually played music.
Anyway after the 20 miles it was off to the pilates studio, for 30 minutes of piilates at-my-own-speed. The legs were a bit tired but the ab work was not near as hard as originally anticipated. Then back on the bike to go home, and just as HP02 was wondering what she was going to eat she got a call from an old colleague in town for the evening...he wants to buy her dinner! Tonight has turned out to be a grand evening of accomplishment, followed up with a rather delightful lobster ravioli. HP02 will choose to focus on that rather than the fact that she is a freaking retard for making herself sore just in time for the competition.

Oprah no longer rules Chicago

Cheers to ChicagoHotPants for her insane time at the marathon. HP03 stands with her jaw dropped and hopes to come within a half an hour of that time!

Grinding the gear...

HP03 has entered the taper phase of her marathon training. While it is indeed and exciting phase, it is also a little nerve-racking because the feeling of accomplishing the long distance run is getting further and further away. For that reason, HP03 and SB will not be tapering too much. This weekend they ran 18. And, after the 5k on Saturday, HP03 will head out for her last 18-20 on Sunday.

This weekend was...not pretty and when I say pretty, I mean pink bows and kitty cats pretty. It began with the gear. HP03 tried, yet again, to rock the Nike Tempo Track short, aka her "bring on the body glide bottoms." Despite the fact that she lubed up the front of her thighs (learning from the chafe incident after the half marathon), HP03, around mile 13, still felt the burn. To protect herself, she "smartly" tucked her shorts into her underwear to move the perpetrating chaff-short into a different position. But wait, it gets hotter. As the team knows, HP03 has been recovering from a head/chest cold. What the team doesn't know is that running in the chilly weather generally makes HP03's nose run. Her Sunday afternoon run was 18 miles of beautiful, autumn briskness, which resulted in much spitting and really snotty shirt sleeves. Hot.

After the gnarly gear weekend run (which on a fitness level felt great, except for the landmine/rock that rolled HP03's left ankle on the National Mall) HP03 dropped $90 bucks at NikeTown.com on two items and expedited shipping. F shipping costs. Damn. Anyway, those are the new shorts. They have that dorky (but hopefully fashionable Nike interpretation) high side slit (to skip the chafe) and that's the new hot pink tissue, I mean shirt that HP03 may have to rock over her tankini at the marathon for the cool weather.

She went with HOT pink over, say black or white, for her fan base on race day. Sure, I'll sign your boob.

Lastly, HP03 is thinking the socks might be a nice way to tie it all together...

Whenever you THINK you will have a relaxing weekend, it never happens. Instead of sitting on the couch, listening to the rain, HP05 went to the beach. As luxurious as this sounds (see above of what it can look like), it was raining there too, with tons of seaweed on the beach. Some friends of HP05 needed some support so she hopped in her car, and drove through the rain. HP05 did realize she was supposed to go see the race site, but knew her fellow HP's would report on the conditions and would fully understand. HP05 being the clever one, she did throw in her running shoes and iPod in her bag (the tankini was still in route). Sunday morning, before the rain came, HP05 had the best run she has had in a very long time. It was about an hour, running 5 minutes, walking 1 (thanks Bill Rodgers!) and have never felt better. This is exactly what HP05 needed before the race on Saturday. Now, taper mode… the best part of training!

Crazy Pills

First I must give a big shout out to ChicagoHotPants - do you have rockets on your shoes? You're like a lightning bolt!!

After the week from hell HP04 is finally returning to the blog. I spent the beginning of last week fighting the same cold HP03 was battling and it was pissing off my asthma. Wed I left for the lovely city of Akron, Ohio for work and was there through Friday. I did get in a swim and a run while in Ohio but this did nothing to soothe my already irritated asthma. Friday feeling a little better I left to head back home. Now, for those of you that don't know - I have the worse luck with travel. My flight which was supposed to land at 6pm and be a 50 min flight didn't land until nearly midnight and turned into a 7.5 hour flight and landed at Dulles instead of Reagan. This did nothing to help my cold, really pissed my lungs off and soured even further my outlook on life. I didn't get home and asleep until 3 am. Woke up feeling very shitty on Saturday so rested up all day. Sunday morning felt better, decided to go run some errands come back and try going for a swim. But, on the way back I crashed my car!!!! Thankfully, only my pride and my car were hurt. I was still planning on going to the race site on Monday with HP01 but by Sunday night after dealing with insurance and arranging to have my car towed from my place it became apparent I should probably be around to make sure my car was dealt with appropriately the next day. Sunday night became an M&M pity party - I think I ate almost 2 lbs of M&M's. By yesterday my asthma was a total mess and I was back at the Dr.'s office (this makes 3 times since last monday). I got some new drugs and am hoping they'll work. My dr recommended not doing the tri on sat but i told him I'd be fine to which he replied "you know people have died from asthma". Well I'll be dammed if a half mile swim is going to kill me!!!! So, I swam last night just to be sure I could do it and while I'm paying the price today I didn't die (always a good sign).

Summary: Over the bird flu but still battling asthma, have probably gained no less than 5 lbs from my M&M pity party, my car is wrecked because of my own stupidity, haven't trained consistently in well over a week. I swear how is this my life? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!! But, I still got HOT PANTS and am actually looking forward to my virgin camping experience this weekend!!! I'm not missing this for anything!!! WOOOHHOOOOO!!!

Shop-a-thon

Does traipsing around the mall for 4 hours count as a workout? All the key aspects of a workout were met: 1) increased heart rate when the perfect dress was spied in store window, 2) a race through aisles to beat all the other shoppers to dress rack, 3) a terrifying, hit the wall kind of moment when said dress was not found in correct size on rack, 4) a thorough muscle workout flipping through dresses on the rack in hopes said dress was misplaced under another size, 5) a sweat broke out trying on dress in overcrowded dressing room, 6) ultimate victory when, after some perseverence, said dress was found in the right size, and 7) one last victory when pace, or $, goal met because said dress was on sale!

Hmmm, not sure it qualifies but it was worth a shot. I guess it's time for HP06 to get back in the saddle and dig her trusty running shoes out from under all the winnings from the day's mall workout.

Mankini Madness in Chicago

HP01 spotted the Team Mankini at the Chicago Marathon. She wanted to yell “WooHoo Mankini HotPants,” but she feared possible confusion by Mankini, given that he’d had just run 26 miles.

View ChicagoHotPants’ Marathon Photos

BTW, yesterday’s bike ride was a bit of a debacle and in fact, Neil was a bit uncooperative. First, HP01 mistakenly leaned on what she thought was concrete pillar but turned out to be flexible foam. Down she went, bike and all. The bright side is that the foam pillar cushioned the landing, so no road rash ensued. Second, Neil’s back tire was a little low, so that turned into a 10 minute ordeal at mile 8. Finally, Neil’s chain came off near mile 18…what a greasy mess! HP01 will consider keeping rubber surgical gloves in her pack for the next greasy chain episode. On the bright side, several good-looking biking fellas offered their assistance to HP01 on her many stops, one of which was a bit of a Swedish bike god! In all, HP01 completed 22 miles, an hour of Pilates (sans HP04), and drank some vino with HP02.

A Proper HP **SNAPS** to ChicagoHotPants

Rock and roll, Chicago HotPants is clearly BALLSTOTHEWALL, and as such kicks some serious ass. I nominate her to head up the Mid-Western faction of Team Calientes Pantalones- STAT. You are an inspiration to the rest of us, CHP!! I only wish I were there with MY cowbell!

BTW...check it- this girl could revolutionize gift-giving as you know it 2005! www.theshopette.com

I want to take you out…I am looking for a hand to hold for the rest of my life.

I kid you not- the scene: 10:00 Saturday night, Home Depot, and HP02 is shopping for paint (looking like A-A-A-S-S, what with all the humidity and all), and yet somehow, after having just had a pint of paint spilled all over her, the Eager Beaver behind the paint counter is seeing hearts. Dazzling beauty? I think not. Once again, the irresistible and charming HP sass works its magic. Outcome: $65.00 of free stuff from the Home Depot, in addition to what appears to have been a proposal of marriage…

HP01 is feeling most inarticulate today, so she’s givin’ it straight…She ran 2.5 miles on the treadmill this morning and is planning to swim with RedHotPants tonight. She has also spent the day grazing on candy corn, which, according to the FDA is, in fact, a vegetable. JK.

I read the bible by coal-lit light.

HP03 finally got off of her ass and did some working out. Training for a marathon is stressful because it feels as if you're never doing enough. Add three days off to your calendar and you may, in fact, not be doing enough. I was sick. Gawd. After wrestling a nasty cold that must have started around Friday (somewhere between the shooters and beer or poorly mixed Vodka heavy Capecoders) HP03 set out on a 4.5 mile run after work. It went pretty well, but there has been a mysterious development since the weather shift. HP03 is reasonably sure she has developed hyperhidrosis, as she has been soaked down to the bone by the time she finishes her runs, despite the fact that it is much cooler. Ever get sweat into your eye with contacts in? Yup. Worst feeling ever. I'm thinking sweat band...? SIKE. HP03 knows about the team's emphasis on appropriate levels of sass -- especially when sweating profusely.

In an attempt to cram a week's worth of workouts into two days (who actually works out on Friday...boo!) and to beat the ever-earlier darkness, HP03 woke at 6:30AM to run with SB. They cruised a slice of Rock Creek Park and buzzed through the zoo, swinging by the "Great Cats" hoping to catch the early morning feeding (alas, to no avail) and headed on home. All in all the run was a success, but HP03 was spitting like a 1970s MLB All-Star. Which, as any medically certified Mom will tell you, is a "good" thing. It means the cold is "moving." Right. All of this movement has surely lead HP03's officemates to suspect she holds down the midnight shift in the mines.

"I got the black lung, Pops."

News for bikers. I mean cyclists...who get the nod.

Could be more of a problem for the boys if we ever start up TeamHotSpeedo, but there's a section for the ladies too. Check it out.



http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/04/health/nutrition/04bike.html

The BEST reason to bike in this city is...

After a long day at work, HP05 decided to take Carols for a quick 12 mile ride to Haines Point and back. Worried about the darkness, she is trying to move pretty fast. Rock Creek Park isn't somewhere anyone wants to be when it's dark, even if she does have Carlos. Anyway, HP05 is about 2 miles from home, already dreading the really big hill up to Connecticut Ave. Then she sees a man off of his bike, in a bright orange shirt, with his back tire in his hand. Having that mid-western nice, HP05 stop to see if he needs help, even though the darkness and the big hill are coming. With the loveliest British accent he says “Do you have any levers?” With his warm smile and brilliant blue eyes, she gets off Carlos and gives him the levers so he can change is flat tire. HP05 just can't resist a British accent.
10 minutes later of wonderful chatter, not entirely sure of what was said, he handed HP05 her levers back. She was SURE he wanted to ask her out, but did not because he was probably intimidated by how sexy she looked in her helmet and padded biker shorts. HP05 hopped back on Carlos and rode off. Then it hit her, she still has to make it up the hill. AND she must do this BEFORE HOTBritishorangeshirtman catches up and sees her moving slow up the hill or wores, walking Carlos.
So HP05 makes it up the hill, huffing and puffing, but does with a smile on her face. Now, every time HP05 will ride on Rock Creek, she will look for the man in the orange shirt, as that is a great reason to bike in this city.

Kamikaze Pigeons

For the first time ever, HP01 surpassed her usual mile swim and completed 1.5 miles in the pool, in her tankini! She attributes her endurance to the Cliff Shot Bloks, which are like high-energy gummy bears. These things are like tasty, rocket pellets! After the 1.5 swim, HP01 continued in the pool with the kicky board for some ass-tightening exercises. RedHotPants also made it to the pool last night and told an entertaining story about battling the kamikaze pigeons…apparently these filthy pigeons dive-bombed the fake owl designed to scare off them off. WTF?? Prior to the 90-minute workout in the pool, HP01 went to Pilates where the focus was on back and abs. For those of you following HP01/04’s Pilates progress, the flatulenting woman was back and with a vengeance. After this “marathon” of exercising, HP01 scarfed down several tacos and passed out watching South Park. Today, the hunger lingers on and she’s been grazing all day.

Smells Like Teen Spirit: The Calf Bell

HP02 has finally matched HP01’s superior team spirit with a bell of her own. After much anticipation, she finally received her EBay purchase only to find that her coveted cow bell is but a fraction of the normal size. But never underestimate the power of the little guy…this bell has LOUD projection, and is going to blow the minds of all those Marines at the marathon, enticing them to come over and have a look for themselves…all part of the master plan. MMMMOOOAAAAHHHHHH.

So long, HotPantsSusie!

This morning HotPantsSusie (as was her nickname in college) took off for Denver, after much kiss-blowing and tear-wiping by her oldest daughter. HotPantsMom is on the path to getting in touch with her inner athlete, as was evident this weekend. Saturday it was a 4 mile hike to Mary’s Rock at Shenandoah, then a brave trek to Pentagon City Mall for some sympathy-induced upgrades to HP02’s pathetic, college-style apartment furnishings. It was then that it was discovered that HP02’s illicit craving for Cheetos is actually hereditary…as fate would have it they are HotPantsMom’s post-exertion snack of choice too! Sunday was a 4 mile bike ride to Roosevelt Island and a couple of miles of walking around, and yesterday HotPantsMom courageously ventured out by herself, skillfully navigating thru the mess that is the DC public transit system for a lovely visit to the National Mall. HotPantsMom ended the day by accompanying her HP daughter to pilates, where she fell in love with PilatesLatinHotPants. HotPantsSusie has just begun her athletic renaissance, but regardless put forth a spectacular effort this weekend. HP02 has encouraged her to keep up the good work by taking a trip to the MotherShip for some HotPants Gear to keep her in the mood, and then to sign up for her own triathlon relay with her daughters in CO. She balks now, much like HP01 did at first, but I see great things in HotPantsMom’s future, perhaps even a tankini of her own!!

The kissing disease.

HP03 celebrated her last "wet weekend" by hitting Adam's Morgan on Friday night, where she and SB and a small group of training buddies proceeded to complete a marathon of drinking with virtually no recent warm-ups. The whole race went so fast -- it's all basically a blur. But, as SB noted to HP01 the next day, after an incident with a cigarette, someone's pants were literally hot-t.

Saturday, HP03 spent nearly the entire day passed out on a nasty and uncomfortable, but strangely seductive futon in the middle of SB's living room while his roommates watched her drool on herself. Mono, part I. HP03 woke up on Sunday and followed up that huge feat with a nap to celebrate her waking accomplishment. She woke (again) quite stressed asking SB "What the hell is wrong with me...?" Mono, part II. After finally making it home and cleaning up her room after the explosion that happened there on Friday night, HP03 and SB set out for a two hour run. Normally, that would be an estimated 12 miles, but um...at that pace, I don't think so. So we'll say 10. 10. 10 miles of pure hellish torture. Quite possibly the worst run of HP03's entire life. She felt the pull of every tendon and a cramp followed every breath. Silver lining, it was beautiful! HP03 is a New England girl and hearts the fall more than any other season. She longs for seriously colorful foliage, but will take the brisk temperatures and welcomes sweater season with open arms.

HP03 woke up this morning with some gnarly throat, head, and ear pain. Mono, part III. She quickly realized this was no longer a direct result of her binge drinking, but rather a stealth cold waiting for the opportunity to strike. Luckily, HP03 is a wanna-be badass and will not be over come by Mono, parts I-III. Or a common cold for that matter. She has taken to pounding Airborne like a frat guy pounds body shots. Boo yeah, Delta House rules!

It worked once before...fingers crossed...Ugh...

Back with Carlos

HP05 had her first ride with Carlos since her crash 6 weeks ago!! It wasn’t long, only 9 miles or so, but she made it past the accident site with no fear!! In some ways HP05 was so happy to be on her bike again, in others it makes her scared for the 19 miles she has ahead of her IN TWO WEEKS!! All that means is she must step it up, get out of bed early, hop on Carlos and ride. The hardest thing will be waking up… my bed is so warm and pretty… HP05 also accomplished a 1500 yd swim, some kicking and treading water on Sunday in a very empty Eastern Market pool. Probably because it was gorgeous outside and all normal people were enjoying the shopping at Eastern Market instead of in the pool. The eventful weekend concluded with HP06 and I heading to California Tortilla (that’s some darn good cheese dip) and a movie (baby penguins are the CUTEST). Nothing says congratulations to a good workout than queso!!

Army 10-

The Army 10- NO, make that 11.4 miler! Yes, they rerouted the race this morning and unbeknownst to the runners tacked on an additional 1.4 miles to the course. We started to suspect something was not quite right when we were between miles 3 and 4 and the leaders started running by us along the grass on Rock Creek Pkwy because there wasn't any room for them on the street and we knew they were either lost (highly doubtful), had already finished and were just jogging it off (doubtful b/c they were moving fast and it was too early even for the fast runners to be done 10 miles) or something was going on with the course (also doubtful at the time but eventually proven true). The official word - there was a suspicious package on the 14th street bridge so they rerouted the race. But the good news, I made it, loved it and the weather was perfect. Since they started misplacing mile markers after mile 7 (the last one I saw) - so I am not sure if I achieved my pace goal at the end. Now if only I can do that with a swim and a bike beforehand! - HP06

Go Sox

HP06 is finally online and for my inaugural blog, I figured I should let you know that I live (or almost live) for the Red Sox (as you'll soon be able to tell!).

Well, the Army 10-miler expo was almost a bust as I came close to stranding HP05 and her bike at the hotel due to a closer than expected second set at the local tennis courts this morning (after last night's Sox victory over the Yankees I was somehow inspired). I haven't gone 10 miles since the Cherry Blossom in April but I have my lucky Red Sox t-shirt laid out and ready to go. And if the Sox can pull out this weekend's series against the Yankees than I can surely run 10 miles (or maybe, since the Sox are currently losing to the Yankees, this should read if I can run 10-miles than surely the Sox can beat the Yankees this weekend?).

Enjoy the first fall weekend, HPs!