HP01 BEAVERHAUSEN completes first full TRI

A loud ayyyy yaaaay yaaaay yaaaaay to TeamCalientePantalones for successfully completing the Sherando Sprint Triathlon! Despite the 62 degree water and the endless 1.5 mile hill-mountain at the end of the bike AND run, HP01 finished the Sherando Sprint Triathlon in 2 hours and 53 minutes, 8 minutes ahead of her 3-hour goal. Here’s the breakdown, with narrative:

Swim time…26:07…The water was so ass-cold that HP01 could not get enough oxygen into her lungs doing the free-style. So it was breast stroke all the way, baby, for survival! It was like a scene out of the Titanic movie with people dropping like flies and holding on to floating wood! What kind of idiot swims ½ mile in 62-degree water without a wetsuit? Answer: HP01! The fans on the beach enjoyed HP01’s shout-out while swimming, ayyyy yaaaay yaaaay yaaaaay!

Transition time…5:29…HP01 was recovering from hypothermia and chatting with HP04, while searching for a hot cup of coffee. Where’s a fucking Starbucks when you need one?

Bike time…1:33:43…a rather enjoyable ride for HP01 through the mountain roads. Lots of goo needed to get through the hills, in particular the BEAST at the end. Neil held up well and there were no major incidents to report. The ride did pass by the mobile home of the fat, shirtless local who sold us a bushel of firewood. Interesting fella! HP01 hopes the picture of him turns out.

Transition time...2:53…at this point, HP01’s legs are like jelly, but hypothermia has subsided. HP03 gives encouraging words about the run “a walk in the park,” (which was a total lie).

Run time…45:10…SLOW POKE! But who cares? HP01 was dying at the end and was just glad to be done. She is thankful to HP03 & HP04 who walked/ran with her the last 1.5 miles (up the BEAST mountain) while humming the Rocky theme music. Thanks ladies!

Now for the lighting round: HP’s got the last campsite; Camping kicked ass; food was excellent; old-lady dog was rejuvenated; weather was perfection; gear held-up; ate “freedom fries” at the Tasty Freeze; cowbell inspired yet another group of athletes, and of course, the fans rocked the HOUSE (mom, CoachHotSpeedo, and all the canines).

Coming soon, HP01’s official pictures.