TeamHotPants takes on off-road Adventure Racing

It has been 11 days since HPs 02, 05 and 06 completed their mission of taking TeamHotPants off the beaten tri path, but with shiny 1st place medals hanging around their necks they wont be forgetting any time soon! June 18, Father's Day, the HPs participated in their first XTerra relay in Richmond VA, finishing #1 of 1 in the women's relay. As she realized she signed up for the hardest portion of this relay, HP02's anticipation and anxiety leading up to the event ended up being worse then the scrapes and bruises sustained on the course. Her expectations turned out to be pretty accurate- a technical course consisting mostly of a narrow path, winding thru thick forest with uneven rock outcroppings, 350 mountain bikers all trying to haul ass to get ahead of each other. It was freaking madness! The bike chain came off only twice, but HP02 was consoled at the sight of at least 3 other cyclists struggling with their chains as well. HP02 had determined before she began that she would not hesitate to get off the bike and walk if danger seemed imminent, and this proved to be a very wise decision, as there were many stretches of steep rock (complete with loose gravel), roots and logs for f*ck's sake!! But once she got off the path, trying to get back on was like re-mounting a moving roller coaster-people wouldnt let you back on!

HP02 was impressed with the performance of Fernando, her low-end, cheap mountain bike. She pounded the hell out of him, but he ended up being a freaking animal on the trail. The part of the course that most had her wishing for a newer, lighter bike, however, came with the 7 flights of stairs she had to climb with the bike on the back. People were tromping up the stairs like ants on an anthill!
The race would not be complete without a good shit-eating story, and you can count on HP02 to deliver in that department! About 6 miles in, HP02 was feeling pretty good. She was beginning to get the hang of braking and skidding around sharp turns, powering up steep and bumpy hills by low-gearing it and standing in the saddle, etc. Fernando caught an edge coming down a steep hill, though, and in a split second sent this HP flying over the handle bars and into the mud, face first. First thoughts: "Am I a quadraplegic yet? How are they going to get me out of this forest?" (once I confirm that I can still move my toes and fingers) "Sweet. Now Im really dirty. Im not that hurt. WAIT! Shit- it took me forever to get past that bitch, and there she goes...out of my way, she cant beat me!"
HP02 made it to the finish after 1 hour and 17 minutes of pushing herself harder than she has ever pushed herself before. Thanks to HP05 and HP06 for a great relay race, and to HP01 for her kick-ass cheering and encouragement. And Ive got to say, XTerra is pretty freaking organized...HP02 was quite impressed with the way the event was run. Check out the official results: http://www.xterraplanet.com/races/view_results.cfm?race_id=358
Now TeamCalientePantalones must forgive HP02, as she she must show off her post-ride scrapes and such...

Training to Survive...but barely.

Well, the Ocho had her first big swim on Saturday in Bath County. This is pretty much how it went...
"Ok, so I'm in the water. I can do this. It's a little cold. Shoot. I thought we'd all be starting together. Hmm...I was hoping HP01 would be here to tell me it would be ok. Oh well. Karina is here. I think we're freaking each other out. It's ok. We can do this. Opps. There's the gun. Ok, let's go. Breathing. Breathing. Kicking like a swimmer. Ok, this is ok. NO IT'S NOT! NO IT'S NOT! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! HOW FAR HAVE I GONE? 50 FEET? WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' FIRST BUOY? THEY SAID IT WOULD BE BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! BUT IT'S SO F'ING FAR AWAY! Breathe. Breaststroke, breaststroke. Ok, the ladies are starting. The other white caps are starting to thin out. Ok, I can get my bearings. Still breaststroking. Ok Ocho, get your head in the ga...ACK! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?! THERE ARE PINK CAPS EVERYWHERE!!! WHY ARE THEY SO ANGRY AND WHY DO THEY KEEP TRYING TO SWIM OVER ME!?! Oh, it's HP04. She didn't swim over me. She's checking on me. NO! I'M NOT OK. I THINK I MIGHT DROWN! JUST DON'T LEAVE ME BEFORE THE FIRST BUOY! Well here is the first bower. Ok, there's no point in bringing HP04 down to. Go, HP04, Go. I'll survive. Where is the damn canoe? Should I roll over? I can't bail on CB. Maybe I could just hang on for a while and rest. Why am I here!?! I'm not prepared for this! I'm not prepared, I'm not prepared. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. It is NOT BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! Ok, try and swim. The breaststroke is really tiring. Kick, kick, stroke, stroke. Spit, Spit, choke, choke. Ok, back to the breaststroke. God, could the second buoy be farther away?!? Ok, rounding the corner. Only one buoy left...too bad it's so, so far away. Focus, focus. Maybe I can do this. Either way, it's farther to swim back at this point than to just keep going. Try to get in to your actual stroke again. Wow, this thing actually might be done much sooner if I just swim like I'm supposed to. Hey! It's HP03! She won't let me drown. She would totally pull me out...or at least flag a boat for me. Look at me! I'm actually swimming! Rounding the final bouy! Now I just need to head straight home. Come on...stay in a straight line. No, a STRAIGHT line. Spot, swim, spot, swim. Oh thank God. I think that's ground under my feet. HP04 says to swim until I can swim anymore. Land! Sweet, sweet land, may I never leave you again."

So, yes, the Ocho did survive, though she posted the slowest of the swim times for the relays. Oh well. It's all about finishing, right ladies? Right. One swim down and now HP08 knows she can survive it. That knowledge alone should make the next one better...if there is a next time...

The really REALLY long recap of the GCBS

HP05 would once again like to apologize for not blogging sooner about her swim. HP05 completed the 4.4 mile swim across the Chesapeake Bay on June 11th in just over 3 hours and 13 minutes. Here is the really long recap…

It started off a little unfair because HP05 had to drive across the bridge, park her car, and get bussed BACK across the bridge to the start. That’s right, twice to see what she was about to swim. Then, she had to wait in the sun for 2 hours before the start. After many panic phone calls to her parents and friends, the pre-race meeting started. All nervous, HP05 squeezed into her wet suit, started with a base layer of body glide and then moved onto the Bag Balm. Once she was nice and greased up, she headed for the start.

The gun goes off
HP05 runs into the water, screaming silently in her head. It starts off as a normal open water swim. Fighting for spots, getting kicked (sometimes a bit to close to the face), trying to breath, etc. HP05 hits the turn to go in-between the bridges and is feeling really good. There it is, the orange marker with a big 1. Check time, 26 min.
The thought process of HP05 at this moment “HOLY SHIT!! This is awesome!! I ROCK!! Stay clam and breath. 3.4 miles to go. Here comes the curve.”

Then the straight south current hit. Within 50 strokes, HP05 had been pushed from the north bridge to the south bridge.
The thought process of HP05 at this moment “HOLY SHIT!! STAY IN THE COURSE! Stop swallowing the water! DON’T HIT THE PILINGS!” At this point, HP05 was starting to worry. Mile 2 was not in sight, the current was so bad that if she did breast stroke, she would make any forward progress or would go backwards. NOT GOOD!
Finally, mile 2 marker. Check time, 45 min. Not that bad. Unfortunately, HP05 is already really tired from trying to make forward progress.
The thought process of HP05 at this moment “HOLY SHIT!! Can I do this? I CAN’T DO THIS? Will people understand if I quit? NO, you paid too much to do this race! Why are you drinking too much of this water. YUCK! Shit, 2.4 miles to go. Can I do this???”

Still fighting current, trying to make progress. Look at a piling to the northeast, swim to it. Repeat. At this point HP05 is just concentrating on swimming. Nothing else. Unit 45 minutes goes by and she still doesn’t see the orange maker with the 3. Did she pass it? Oh no, 15 minutes later, there it is.
The thought process of HP05 at this moment “HOLY SHIT!! An HOUR! An HOUR to do 1 mile!! WTF!! I have never been so tired.. My arms really hurt. Shit, 1.4 miles to go. Wait, I just swam 3 miles. I am way over half way done. I think I can do this!”

45 minutes later, barely moving her arms, feeling dizzy and nauseous, there is mile marker 4, right by the turn to get out from under the bridges. YAY!!
The thought process of HP05 at this moment “HOLY SHIT! I am almost done! .4 miles left!!”
Then, the best thing ever… HP05 starts to see all these swimmers stand. YES!! IT”S SHALLOW!!! HP05 pops up and starts to walk towards the glorious finish.

3 hours and 13 minutes total, HP05 walked out of the bay. What a feeling. A feeling never to be had again, but that is fine. HP05 did it once and is very proud.

A HUGE thanks to all that came out, tried to come out but got caught in traffic and had to turn back, and those who were thinking of me during the event.

Training to Survive Part 4 - The final days

Backpack
In addition to a survival kit, a good, comfortable backpack is mandatory. Loads of about 18 kg (40 lb.) are average. Items to include are; flashlight, extra jacket, socks and mittens, a pocket saw, gas camp stove, first aid kit, emergency food, and a tent and fly.









Well last night was the finale of the training portion of the Ocho's Training to Survive campaign. The good news is that HP08 managed to swim her 750 yards, plus an extra 200 yards just in case. There was a break between the two lengths, but she felt pretty good after the first 750, so HP08 is pretty sure she won't drown. She is a little worried about the craziness of the open water and the jockeying for space with the other swimmer, but armed with her new suit, the power of the tankini and the support of the HP sisters, she believes she'll live to see another day.

Brace yourselves Bath County, here come the HPs!!!

The TCP Swimsuit is revealed...

Ok, so the Ocho doesn't have the kind of power to actually declare a uniform piece, but she found an amazing swimsuit at Sports Authority last night that is very TCP appropriate. It matches the tankini perfectly (even the red), it is a two-piece which is good for wearing with the tankini, the top can double as a sports bra and it's reversible which is like buying two suits. Oh yeah, and it's 30% off right now. So...drum roll please...

(Sorry for the weird photos, but I wasn't going to post a photo of me wearing a swimsuit on the web...)

TADA!!!

Say it ain't so....

HP04 has been a bad bad bad HP - not blogging and all. But, if its any consolation I've been working out a ton to make up for it. This include a 50 mile bike ride, to absolve myself of guilt for having laid by the pool on Saturday instead of actually swimming in it (thanks TG) and spending saturday night driving up to gmas and nursing her til lunchtime sunday. I won't bore you with the details of my workouts other than to let you know that i'm doing it all - swimming, running and biking. After a particularly grueling bike ride 3 weeks ago HP04 stumbled off her bike (grace has never been my strongsuit) to an incredible pain in the back of her leg behind her knee. After a little internet research i diagnosed myself with a pulled hamstring - who knew they went that far down the leg. Three weeks later i was begining to think maybe a little internet resarch didn't qualify me as a doctor and i'd better have it checked before the weekend (needless to say the bike ride sunday didn't help). Good news - not a pulled or torn hamstring. Bad news - tendonitis. I didn't even know there were hamstring tendons.

"Hamstring Tendonitis: The hamstring muscles consist of the Biceps femoris, Semitendinosus and Semimembranosus, Hamtring Tendonitis inflammation, irritation, and swelling of one or more of the tendons that connect one of these muscles to the bone around the knee."

For those keeping track Hp04 has tendonitis in:
Left knee
Right knee
Left elbow
Left shoulder
Left hamstring

Sweet. yeah, yeah, yeah ice, stretch, rest, advil for pain. Stupid tendons. Whatever....bring on the party bring on the funk HPs are gonna rock Bath County this weekend.

Training to Survive Part 3 - Going the distance

Build a Fire
Building a fire is the most important task when dealing with survival in the wilderness. Be sure to build yours in a sandy or rocky area or near a supply of sand and water as to avoid forest fires. The most common mistakes made by those attempting to build a fire are: choosing poor tinder, failing to shield precious matches from the wind and smothering the flames with too large pieces of fuel. The four most important factors when starting a fire are spark - tinder - fuel - oxygen.

The most common ways to create spark are:

1. Waterproof, strike-anywhere matches are your best bet. Matches may be water-proofed by dipping them in nail polish. Store your matches in a waterproof container.

2. A cigarette lighter is also a good way to produce a spark, with or without fuel.

3. The flint and steel method is one of the oldest and most reliable methods in fire starting. Aim the sparks at a pile of dry tinder to produce a fire.

4. The electric spark produced from a battery will ignite a gasoline dampened rag.

5. Remove half of the powder from a bullet and pour it into the tinder. Next place a rag in the cartridge case of the gun and fire. The rag should ignite and then may be placed into the tinder.

6. Allow the suns rays to pass through a magnifying glass onto the tinder.

Ok, so for the first time last night, the Ocho actually swam a full 750 yards, not all at once, but broken in to 600 yards and 150 yards. The stroke was maintained, though much more solid on the final 150 yards than on the first 600. HP08 went for a run this morning and will take tonight off from swimming. Tomorrow...the whole 750 yards straight.

Training to Survive Part 2 - The Stroke

Survival Tip #2

CLOTHING AND EQUIPMENT
Clothing
Clothing must provide warmth and offer protection from the elements. Layers of light, natural fibers are best. Hats are a must, as they offer protection from both the heat and cold. Water proof outer layers are necessary.

Equipment
Equipment must be easily manageable and promote survival in any situation. Items to carry in your pockets may include a fire starter, waterproof matches and/or lighter, a pocket knife, goggles, compass, small first-aid kit and some sort of trail food.

Ok Ladies, HP08 has some news...last night, in the YMCA, the Ocho found her stroke. It ain't pretty, in ain't technically correct and it ain't efficient, but it gets her from one end of the pool to the other without her feeling like she's going to drown. Who knows why it clicked in the end...was it the little kid that kept trying to beat her with his noodle? Was it the girl swimming in the lane next to her with red pom-poms on her suit? Or maybe it was the skinniest man alive gliding past her two lanes over, but all HP08 knows is that last night she did her 500 yards, 10 minutes of kicky board, and 100 more yards and she didn't feel like she was going to die afterwards. That's right ladies, she just may survive it. The Bath County lake may not claim her to its dark depths after all. Ultimately, the Ocho probably just stopped thinking so much and started breathing more often, but she's not willing to rule our devine intervention. Tonight it's back to the pool for 600 yards, 10 minutes of kicky board and an additional 150 yards. Thursday...the whole 750 yards...

"Training to Survive"

Tip #1
A wigwam may be constructed using three long poles. Tie the tops of the poles together and upright them in an appropriate spot. Cover the sides with a tarp, boughs, raingear or other suitable materials. Build a fire in the center of the wigwam, making a draft channel in the wall and a small hole in the top to allow smoke to escape.
















So HP08 has entered in to the phase of her swim training that she is calling "Training to Survive." This morning she hit the pool really f'ing early in order to get a swim in before she heads out of town for her college reunion. The Ocho arrived at the pool at 6:08am and all of the lanes had at least 1, some 2, people in them. Apparently morning swimmers are HARD CORE! So, after finally getting someone to acknowledge her presence and allow her to share his lane, she jumped in for a solid 400 yards. There was some stopping and some breaststroking, but she got through it. (Part of the breaststroking was due to the crazy swimmer sharing her lane and the one next to her that kept splashing water in her face while she was breathing.) After the 400, HP08 kicky boarded for 10 minutes and then swam another 50 to see if she could maintain her kick. Yes, this is not a full work out, in the sense that HP08 is "training," but her focus at this moment is just to get through the 750 meter swim in Bath County on the 24th. So, here's the plan: Today - 400 yards, kicky board, 50 yards; Monday - 500 yards, kicky board, 100 yards; Tuesday - 600 yards, kicky board, 150 yards; Thursday - 750 yards. HP08 isn't there yet, but progress is definitely being made. She is finding her kick and even has a semi-hour glass stroke going. Mostly, HP08 wishes that she was going to be around this weekend so she would have some extra time to train, but through her well planned and designed training program, she believes she will be able to avoid sinking to the bottom of the lake in Bath County. Post-Bath County, HP08 will enter a regular training program that actually makes sense.

Workout smerkout.

(photo 1-2: HP03 faces off for the first bi-annual RPS championship match. HP03 wins on scissors)

(photo3 L to R: The second bi-annual RPS tourney final four - JuanCarlos, SallyCat Kurts, HP03, Brian; Scot -the ref; and Greg-the announcer)

So HP03 has been seriously slacking on her workouts as of late, but she is in her off season. Rock, paper, scissors champion offseason that is. That's right TCP, HP03 is currently the two time defending champ in the Quincy Crew Bi-annual RPS Tournament.

The first match was April 8, 2006 with 24 competitors. HP03 swept the tourney with her toughest match caming from Scot "I thrown scissors and paper at the same time" Humphrey. HP03 took that bracket, moving on to win with scissors in the final match.

The second Quincy RPS tourney was held this weekend at the Green Party. HP03 faced serious competition in the "Kiss me I'm Irish" bracket. Interestingly, Scot was in a seperate region. After rallying her dizzy, drunk ass to pull through her bracket, HP03 moved on the finals.

After watching SallyCat Kurtz fall to JuanCarlos, HP03 faced off with Brian in a relatively easy victory. HP03 knew she had to win it for the ladies and her crew, SallyCat, HP04, and Jessica helped her with some reminders when she realized she was too tipsy to rememeber what had happened at the preceeding "shoot." Thanks to the ladies and the distractingly clangy bangles, HP03 pulled through and defended her title in the second RPS.

Luck? I think not. As if I have to tell the ladies of TCP, skill. Pure skill. Now that this is out there, HP03 will table her victory ego so that she can clear her head in time for the next tourney.

Many thanks!

First, HP08 would like to congratulate HP05 on her tremendous swim. The Ocho is very impressed, especially considering she can't even remember to breathe while swimming the length of the YMCA pool.
Second, HP08 would like to thank HP03 and HP04 for spending so much time in the pool with her last night. HP08 is still no expert, but after some much needed practice she knows it will pay off for her in the end. The Ocho will attempt to conquer the pool on her own tomorrow bright and early. She will focus on her swimmers kick, not her runners kick, and breathing earlier in her stroke. After mastering those two items, she will move on to working on her "hour glass" stroke and keeping her elbows bent. After she's mastered those two items, she will focus on kicking the ass of the obnoxious girl that was mocking their strokes to the hot life guard while practically doing a log role when breathing.
Thanks again to HP03 and HP04 for being great coaches and moral supporters. The Ocho definitely owes you both one. You are true examples of the TCP spirit.

HP05: The Inspiration, The Legend...

She was the original inspiration that prompted the formation of TeamCalientePantalones, and she continues to set the standard for what it means to be an "uber-stellar" athelete. Yesterday HP05 successfully swam the ENIRE length of the Bay Bridge in the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim- 4.4 miles- despite a busy travel schedule that cut into her training time. HP05, HP02 is giving you your much deserved props, and the rest of your teammates eagerly await your detailed account of a positively KICK ASS feat!!! Good job, Hot Pants!!!

Hey baby, get the lube.

Wow, HP05, 36min miles?!? Damn.

It is HP03's goal to do ONE mile in under 45minutes at Naylors beach. Actually, F that, it's HP03's goal to not drown.

Good luck this weekend, HP03 apologizes profusely and on the record, for not being able to be thoroughly impressed in person...SB moves to NYC on Sunday afternoon and HP03, too, will be swimming this weekend...in vodka and tears ;-)

Anyway, this post was probably pre-HP05 but I thought it would help you out with your lube issues. You should be able to pick it up at almost any speciality running/tri store and maybe even a Sports Authority type place. It totally works and is much easier and cleaner than the bagbalm bomb:

http://www.teamcalientepantalones.blogspot.com/2005/08/not-so-slippery-slope.html

2 DAYS!!!!

Dear Blog and TCP,

HP05 would like to express her humblest apologies for not blogging more. It’s a bit of too busy with work, traveling for weddings and work, and the embarrassment of not working out and having anything to blog about it…

Here is the update. HP05 is scared SH*TLESS for Sunday. Last week Tuesday, HP05’s dad took her for a swim on a lake Wisconsin. He stayed right behind her for 2 hours and 6 minutes while she swam 3.5 miles (that’s 36 min/mile). You ROCK DAD!! The wet suit fits (barley) but the tank uniform wasn’t working. It caused HP05 to have the worst chaffing she has ever experienced under her arms. The solution… Bag Balm. Due to a suggestion from HP06, HP05’s mom found this cow utter stuff to prevent chapping on cow utters. I guess it works for swimmers too.

While HP05 was in San Diego got up super early with a supper buff tri CA co-worker to swim in the bay by the hotel. Greased up, all went well for the two swims, about 30-40 min each.

So, what does this mean for Sunday? HP05 is super excited. And a bit worried. Luckily, HP05 knows she will have her support system waiting across the bay. She looks forward to hearing the cow bell after her 3 hour adventure!!

Next week, Xterra! HP05 is finally in tri mode!!



Oh, HP08, let me know if I can help you out in any way!!!

Blub, blub, blub, HELP!!!

Ok, well HP08 would like to put her hearty thanks out there to HP03 for talking her through her complete emotional and physical breakdown last night. Here's the problem, though...HP08 is a TERRIBLE SWIMMER and REALLY, REALLY needs some HP help. So here it is ladies, one HP to another, HP08 is begging for some assistance in the pool. While HP08 will be spending the weekend at her grandmother's funeral, she would love it if there could be a lesson from any willing HP on Tuesday night at the YMCA pool. We're having a bit of cricis of faith here ladies. Any kind of help would be appreciated. Thanks.
-The Ocho

HP02 Shows HP07 and HotPantsSusie a good time on the West Side

Last weekend HP02 took the prego07 to CA for her 30th birthday, and brought the Mom (AKA HotPantsSusie) along as a surprise. EPIC!! It was the perfect girls trip- we made our way from San Francisco to Monterey, then Carmel-by-the-Sea, then Big Sur in a sassy little convertible. West side forever baby!!

Thanks to WestSideRicky's thorough planning and HP02's mad fire-building skills, we had a bonfire on the beach. Rock out!!

HOtPantsSuzie had such a great time on the beach with the fire she pulled out her stogie in celebration- sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!

And CLEARLY Prego07 is going to be a GREAT mother...cant wait to see how this kid turns out. :)

(the lovely HP07 in Chinatown, and the Muir Woods)

I LOVE SAN FRANCISCO (but I must admit I was a little disappointed with their swimwear policy on Pier 39) (RS, I really just took this picture for you).

..

...And a fancy schmancy dinner for the birthday girl at Farallon in San Francisco...

In conclusion, San Francisco is currently my favorite city ever!

I didnt like it, but I heard you, Blog.

The blog is right, but the blog sure can be pushy sometimes! Before HP02 launches into a synopsis of her trip to CA with HotPantsSusie and PregoHP07, she will give a brief accounting of her training. As has been her usual M.O., this HP has been training for the Richmond Xterra sporadically. And as usual, last-minute fear and angst about getting RAILROADED at the event has caused HP02 to ferociously punish her body. HP02 realizes that this is not necessarily good for her body, but until she can work out her psychological aversion to committment, thats the way its going to have to be. Now, on to the synopsis:

Saturday: running 3 miles on the beach
Tuesday: treadmill 2 miles at near-top speed, 10 miles on the bike, upper body weights, abs
Wednesday: run 3.5 miles on lunch break
Thursday: 30 miles on the mountain bike with Gary after work, to freaking Vienna!

Tomorrow will likely be an arms and abs day. Saturday AM its off to Fountainhead for some offroad biking, then ROADTRIP to Richmond to check out the course. Sunday: more off-roading with HP01 (and hopefully CoachYoda) and some serious cheering as HP05 kicks ASS swimming across the Chessapeake!!

Thank you Hot Pants All!

The Ocho would like to extend her sincere thanks to all of the Hot Pants for making her 27th birthday a great one. The Rocket Grill will never truely recover. Enjoy the photos!






Still early in the evening...














Hot HP action on the dance floor!















HP08 singing her heart out!

To TCP, From the Blog

Dear TeamCalientePantalones,

It seems you ladies have forgotten that as a member of TCP, you are required to blog. You know who you are. Get to it. No excuses.

Need I say more?

Respectfully,
The Blog

Hypocrisy settles into its proper place on the floor of the U.S. Senate.

John Thune wants the U.S. Senate to restore value to the institution of marriage. They have such a stong record. None of them have cookies on the side. Especially not ol' Thune-y. Face it, the man is having affairs. No married man is that tan and not having some sort of illicit tryst or perhaps....gasp...a gay lover.

This is the type of moral authority shit that makes normal people turn their backs on the GOP...that is until they see what they're left facing.

Gays and Lesbians should secede from the Democratic party and start their own. Senate Democrats have completely abandoned any sense of justice when it comes to this issue and have instead put on a finger-pointing parade calling on the GOP led Senate to focus its time on "important issues." What the hell is going on in the U.S. Senate when Kennedy and Feinstein are proselytizing on behalf of federalist principles?!?!?!

Sen. Feinstein "Why, why, why?" are you talking about stem cell research and not calling for equality. Gas prices? You're fucking kidding me!

The Democratic party officially has no guiding principles. They are mere nay Sayers.

HP03 is pissed.

After the Bob Barker of political opportunists, uh I mean, consultants neutered one of the few Republican members of the Senate with any balls, leaving him to give the least inspired floor speech and thereby boring people into not caring what he has to say on gay marriage, HP03 decided to look to the Dems, who she believes are blowing their ridiculously, mind-blowing, huge and painfully obvious opportunity to be on the right side of history.

All she wants is ONE floor speech with a dash of cajones behind it.

Who will call the GOP leadership out on being a bunch of politically opportunistic bigots...?

Let's turn to the Democratic Cajones Meter:

Tom Harkin (D-IA) : sin bolas. estate tax and helping families with tax rebates
Patty Murray (D-WA): sin bolas. Iraq. Helping families with veterans' benefits
Diane Feinstein (D-CA): pequeñas bolas. States rights defense, but did call the GOP on their dicking around in our family rights/big government
Teddy Kennedy (D-MA): Lion bolas. Blah blah blah...health care, families...oh finally...a harkening back to interracial marriage...vote to impose discrimination on every state....wee, keep it going Teddy...equal treatment under law...education....no, Teddy no...civil marriage...eek...separate but equal?...SOS he's going down and not in a good way...state laws...federal regulation... downgraded to pequeñas bolas.

Mel Martinez (R-FL): sin bolas. don't discriminate against immigrants, but I'm not really into ass fucking.

OK, Sen. Cornyn (R-TX) is on the floor right now calling the Dems out on their dismissal of how truly important "marriage protection" is and their prior refusal to vote on health care reform. Fuck that guy. He's a drunk. I used to see him at my grocery store in the separated, ghetto booze section. Johnny likes his white wine, if you know what I'm saying... Oh no, look, I'm going petty..I'm giving a man a hard time about his drinking...Clearly, I can't take it anymore. Thank god SB is coming back from AZ tonight. I am going to need some dirty, dirty sex to recover...

Parles-sale moi

Oh oui. C'est lui. Faites-moi. Faites moi plus dur. plus rapidement. Vous-est un garcon si sale. Plus rapidement. Plus dur...plus dur!! Oh mon dieu...plus dur. oh la la. C'est lui. Mon dieu qui se sent bon. Vous-etes si grand et dur. Oh dieu.....oh dieu.....oh......la......laaaaaa!

Shhhh....don't speak

It's over for Cruz and McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz "have decided to split," Cruz spokesman Robert Garlock told The Associated Press Friday. McConaughey's rep, Alan Nierob, confirmed the breakup, first reported by People magazine.

The Ocho's time with the Pres

The Ocho spent some QT with Pres this morning at the Chamber of Commerce. And by QT, HP08 means that she sat with 200 other people and watched him speak about immigration. It was still kind of cool, though, and the Secret Service guys provided ample eye candy to keep the Ocho entertained.