Training to Survive...but barely.
Well, the Ocho had her first big swim on Saturday in Bath County. This is pretty much how it went...
"Ok, so I'm in the water. I can do this. It's a little cold. Shoot. I thought we'd all be starting together. Hmm...I was hoping HP01 would be here to tell me it would be ok. Oh well. Karina is here. I think we're freaking each other out. It's ok. We can do this. Opps. There's the gun. Ok, let's go. Breathing. Breathing. Kicking like a swimmer. Ok, this is ok. NO IT'S NOT! NO IT'S NOT! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! HOW FAR HAVE I GONE? 50 FEET? WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' FIRST BUOY? THEY SAID IT WOULD BE BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! BUT IT'S SO F'ING FAR AWAY! Breathe. Breaststroke, breaststroke. Ok, the ladies are starting. The other white caps are starting to thin out. Ok, I can get my bearings. Still breaststroking. Ok Ocho, get your head in the ga...ACK! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?! THERE ARE PINK CAPS EVERYWHERE!!! WHY ARE THEY SO ANGRY AND WHY DO THEY KEEP TRYING TO SWIM OVER ME!?! Oh, it's HP04. She didn't swim over me. She's checking on me. NO! I'M NOT OK. I THINK I MIGHT DROWN! JUST DON'T LEAVE ME BEFORE THE FIRST BUOY! Well here is the first bower. Ok, there's no point in bringing HP04 down to. Go, HP04, Go. I'll survive. Where is the damn canoe? Should I roll over? I can't bail on CB. Maybe I could just hang on for a while and rest. Why am I here!?! I'm not prepared for this! I'm not prepared, I'm not prepared. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. It is NOT BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! Ok, try and swim. The breaststroke is really tiring. Kick, kick, stroke, stroke. Spit, Spit, choke, choke. Ok, back to the breaststroke. God, could the second buoy be farther away?!? Ok, rounding the corner. Only one buoy left...too bad it's so, so far away. Focus, focus. Maybe I can do this. Either way, it's farther to swim back at this point than to just keep going. Try to get in to your actual stroke again. Wow, this thing actually might be done much sooner if I just swim like I'm supposed to. Hey! It's HP03! She won't let me drown. She would totally pull me out...or at least flag a boat for me. Look at me! I'm actually swimming! Rounding the final bouy! Now I just need to head straight home. Come on...stay in a straight line. No, a STRAIGHT line. Spot, swim, spot, swim. Oh thank God. I think that's ground under my feet. HP04 says to swim until I can swim anymore. Land! Sweet, sweet land, may I never leave you again."
So, yes, the Ocho did survive, though she posted the slowest of the swim times for the relays. Oh well. It's all about finishing, right ladies? Right. One swim down and now HP08 knows she can survive it. That knowledge alone should make the next one better...if there is a next time...
"Ok, so I'm in the water. I can do this. It's a little cold. Shoot. I thought we'd all be starting together. Hmm...I was hoping HP01 would be here to tell me it would be ok. Oh well. Karina is here. I think we're freaking each other out. It's ok. We can do this. Opps. There's the gun. Ok, let's go. Breathing. Breathing. Kicking like a swimmer. Ok, this is ok. NO IT'S NOT! NO IT'S NOT! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! HOW FAR HAVE I GONE? 50 FEET? WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' FIRST BUOY? THEY SAID IT WOULD BE BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! BUT IT'S SO F'ING FAR AWAY! Breathe. Breaststroke, breaststroke. Ok, the ladies are starting. The other white caps are starting to thin out. Ok, I can get my bearings. Still breaststroking. Ok Ocho, get your head in the ga...ACK! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?! THERE ARE PINK CAPS EVERYWHERE!!! WHY ARE THEY SO ANGRY AND WHY DO THEY KEEP TRYING TO SWIM OVER ME!?! Oh, it's HP04. She didn't swim over me. She's checking on me. NO! I'M NOT OK. I THINK I MIGHT DROWN! JUST DON'T LEAVE ME BEFORE THE FIRST BUOY! Well here is the first bower. Ok, there's no point in bringing HP04 down to. Go, HP04, Go. I'll survive. Where is the damn canoe? Should I roll over? I can't bail on CB. Maybe I could just hang on for a while and rest. Why am I here!?! I'm not prepared for this! I'm not prepared, I'm not prepared. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. It is NOT BETTER AFTER THE FIRST BUOY! Ok, try and swim. The breaststroke is really tiring. Kick, kick, stroke, stroke. Spit, Spit, choke, choke. Ok, back to the breaststroke. God, could the second buoy be farther away?!? Ok, rounding the corner. Only one buoy left...too bad it's so, so far away. Focus, focus. Maybe I can do this. Either way, it's farther to swim back at this point than to just keep going. Try to get in to your actual stroke again. Wow, this thing actually might be done much sooner if I just swim like I'm supposed to. Hey! It's HP03! She won't let me drown. She would totally pull me out...or at least flag a boat for me. Look at me! I'm actually swimming! Rounding the final bouy! Now I just need to head straight home. Come on...stay in a straight line. No, a STRAIGHT line. Spot, swim, spot, swim. Oh thank God. I think that's ground under my feet. HP04 says to swim until I can swim anymore. Land! Sweet, sweet land, may I never leave you again."
So, yes, the Ocho did survive, though she posted the slowest of the swim times for the relays. Oh well. It's all about finishing, right ladies? Right. One swim down and now HP08 knows she can survive it. That knowledge alone should make the next one better...if there is a next time...
posted by Team Caliente Pantalones @ 9:48 AM
1 Comments:
At 10:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
Now there are some hot, hot ladies. Congratulations Ocho and the rest of the HP's on surviving yet another Tri. DHP is shamed by you athleticism as she was winded on her morning walk today. Damn, you all rock!
Post a Comment
<< Home