It's an international hit

I Spooooon youuuu!!!

And you spoooon me baaaaaccccckk

New bike! Neeewwww bike!

HP03 just purchased this sweet, sweet thang on eBay!

Thank you rich kids with fleeting hobbies! S/he's a custom Dean frame, hand built in beautiful Boulder, Colorado! S/he rocks the Shimano Ultegra components and FSA race gear seat, bars and stem. It also has a Preformance wheelset with bladed spokes (not totally sure what that means, but alright...)

Name is in the works. I have to see him/her first.

Ride on my friends, ride on.

Done and done. Oh wait, there's more?

HP03 is very happy to report that she did not in fact drown in the sandy, gasoline-spiced lake that goes by Anna on Sunday.

After MUCH nerves at the start HP03 took her shaky hands, dove in and was off...for what seemed like a mere three strokes before she has a minor freak out. Deciding she'd just chill and stand for a moment she realized she'd gone more than five feet from shore and couldn't touch down. Minor freak out number two. Breathe. Breast stroke. Doggy paddle. Look to shore line. Turnback? Ocho, MT? No f'ing way. Clear fog from goggles. Freestyle. Freak out. Breast stroke. Gag on wetsuit. Backstroke. Stop. Breath. Do it. Do it. C'mon do it. Face in. Freestyle. Freestyle. Turn right at bouy. Pop up, gasp. Take advice from old lady swimmer "good job, first bouy." Smile, "First bouy? This sucks!" Face in. Swim on. And on. And on. See HP01. Try to Ay yai yai. Instead screech something like Ayiii! Round home stretch bouy. Face in, swim on. Realize you swam on at a diagonal. Swim back. Swim on. Swim into a dude. Consider grabbing his ankles. Realize he should so be out the water. Wish there were water segways...call for a dolphin taxi? Breathe, you may be dillusional. Near shoreline. Give Ay yai yai to the Ocho. Come up on three ladies. First one stands. Immediately plant foot to run. Water's too high. Face in, swim on. Pass three ladies in last ditch effort for small victories. Eat my dust ladies. Fly out the water and up the ramp. You lived. 18mintues.









Nerves, I mean HP03 and HP04 pre swim.





Coors, HP04 and HP03 post swim.

HP03 sends a big thanks to her coaches, hats off ladies. She still has lots to learn:

HP03 realized as she stood there shaking
watching HP01 sike up for the water that she also
needed more intimidating game face as displayed here, more flex like there, and more encroaching tough kid stance like there to achieve her best swim.





HP03 also realized that she will need a liitle more lat muscle to make a 13 minnute half mile swim, as displayed here.

Poon Coon Vs. Mouse

HP03's favorite canine has been called in for duty...mouse duty. She spent the evening at KM's new apartment (who has been struggling with last week's mouse sighting) scoping out the critter's favorite hangouts. The PoonCoon focused her attention on the oven and the water heater. Mission accomplished!

Sally Ann was even more excited when KM found an ancient pack of cigs under the oven. The PoonCoon loves a good smoke after a successful hunt.

More on the mouse hunt at http://tingb.blogspot.com/

Good Luck KM!!

Lake Anna TRI: The Results are in for HP01...

Total time: 2 hours, 37 minutes

Place: Dead Last in her age group

Half-mile Swim time: 26 minutes
18-mile bike time: 1 hour, 17 minutes
3.2-mile run time: 45 minutes

Little Nicky Finally Makes the Blog

During our lunch break today, HP02 and HotPantsLittleNicky embarked on an expidition on our bikes, and Im here to tell you it was like being 12 again, riding bikes in the summertime with the neighborhood posse. Spring/summer puts this HP in the mood to RECREATE. While HP02 may or may not have had an unfair advantage (Ricardo VS OldClunkerMntn.Bike), she still was successful in giving HotPantsLittleNicky enough of a spanking to earn a little respect around here. Total bike ride: 18.75 miles. When we got back we headed for JambaJuice in the BlackMagic- for a couple of losers who are selling out to corporate America, this was a pretty kick ass afternoon!

A Triathlon of First

So the big Kinetic Sprint also marked a few milestones for other HPs. (Though HP01's goddess performance of completing the entire event is probably the most impressing.) Sunday was the first triathlon relay for HP08, HP09 and MT HotPants. HP03 also got her first open water swim in and rocked Lake Anna. Congrats to all! It was a great weekend!




MT HotPants rockin' the Tankini























HP03 bustin' out of the water after the big swim















HP08 hauling her butt up the Hill of Death














HP09 comin' home!

GOOD LUCK HP'S!!!

HP05 would like to wish her teammates the BEST OF LUCK this weekend at the first triathlon of the season. She knows you will all kick some serious butt!! This HP will be thinking of you and sending her best wishes as she will be in the Cheese state once again.

Have a great time ladies, especially to those where this is their first race!

HP05

Details for Sunday's Race from Set-up, Inc...

• Race Start Time: 8:00am
• Packet Pick-Up: Packet pick-up will be offered at the park on Saturday (4/22) from 5:30PM - 8PM and Sunday (4/23) from 6-7:30 AM at the race site.
• Photo ID Required: Please remember that you will be required to show a photo ID in order to pick up your race packet. Every participant will be required to pick up his/her own race packet. This includes all relay team members.
• Pre-Race Meeting: Important instructions will be given at 7:45 AM at the beach. Please plan to be there. A description of the swim, bike, and run courses will be given and any last minute announcements made. USAT Race officials will also have a few comments for you regarding race rules.
• Arrival Time: Arrive at the race site on race morning with plenty of time to spare - especially if you plan to pick up your race packet on race day. There's nothing worse than being rushed on race morning. If you arrive late - don't take it out on our race staff and volunteers - it's your own fault.
• Relay Teams: Each member has to pick up their own race packet - with photo ID, and make sure to know the name of your relay team - they'll need the team name at packet pick-up.
• Weather: The race will be held regardless of the weather conditions.
• Swim Course: The water is going to be cold. It is April. We HIGHLY recommend you wear a wetsuit, more specifically a wetsuit designed for swimming.
• Parking: All participants will park in the gravel lots by the lake. You will be directed by our parking volunteers where to park. Parking is limited, so if you can carpool, please do so.
• Awards Ceremony: The awards ceremony will take place as soon as the last participant finishes the race - estimated to be about 11:00 AM. Preliminary results will be posted beginning around 10:00 AM and updated periodically until the awards ceremony. The final results with splits will be posted on the website by 9 PM on Tuesday, April 25th. Awards will not be mailed out. If you can't be present to collect your award, please make arrangements to have someone pick it up for you.
  
  Everybody drive safe and we will see you this weekend.
  Greg Hawkins-Set-Up, Inc

The many dresses of HP08

Any of you out there that know HP08 know that she is a perpetual bridesmaid. In fact, the Ocho just made her appearance in her 6th wedding. While she loves her friends and of course appreciates every opportunity to stand with them during their big day, she's recently realized that she owns over $1,500 in bridesmaids’ dresses that she will never wear again. Coincidentally, this is approximately the amount of money that would be required to acquire the road bike that HP08 is looking in to. So, rather than enjoying seeing HP08 zipping down the path on her sleek new road bike, enjoy some of the many dresses on HP08...

HP08 and Senior Ocho

The Ocho as a Groomsperson (this dress was actually worn again)

HP08, a bridesmaid in a hurricane

HP03 Libre

Too Legit to Quit

HP04 purchased a road bike this weekend with the help of HP01 & HP03 (me being fitted above). Not only were HP01 & Hp03 both helpful and knowledgeable - they were entertaining as ever!! So, i'm signed up for the full thing at Smith Mtn. Lake!! Wooohoooo! After realizing "holy crap i have to do a full tri in three weeks" on Friday after my purchase i biked 60 miles and swam 1.5 mi this past weekend. Thanks to the guidance of HP01 I've only managed to fall twice. Both times of which i was standing - smooothe as ice ladies, smoooothe as ice.

What Gives, HP07?

Is it just me, or is HP07 going to be in town next weekend? Lets take that passion for frightening children at birthday parties and apply it towards making an HP reunion happen.

Whats the plan, man? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot????

HP03 & Deer...Fight, then Make-out

Bone up your arm muscles.

After a brief conference call consultation with CoachHotSpeedo regarding her weak arms, HP03 would like to share the suggested workout to strengthen her muscles that get tired after about 50m in the pool...

Lat Pulls: the pull down T-shaped bar thing. Light weight x15, rest, x12, rest, x10
Triceps: x15, rest, x12, rest, x10 (very important to avoid the dreaded flabby femme arm)
Shoulders: free weigths, 5lb, lift straight out to the side. x15, rest, x12, rest, x10
Push ups: Helps to listen to Salt and Pepa with pushin' it. Right now this HP can only do 10, 8, 6. But she has goals... 20, 15, 10 sounds good (very important for drunken bar muscle contests and woman on top cross training. Btw HPs, did you know that armadillos and bonbos - endangered mini chimpanzees - are the only other mammals ever observed using the missionary position? Hm. Fact of the day.)

Lastly, HP03 adds the sun salutation to the list of excellent arm burners.

CoachHotSpeedo emphasised to HP03 that swimmers don't want to beef up, but rather tone up. Better for the pool, better for the halter tops and cap-sleeve tees. Less weight, more reps = Lean muscles.

HAPPY EASTER!

Belated Thanks!

The Ocho has been incredibly delinquent in thanking the HPs for their amazing support during the Cherry Blossom 10 miler. (Blaim the illegal immigrants that have been absorbing all of the Ocho's time.) The HPs definitely made the 10miles survivable and provided entertainment for all of the runners surrounding HP08 and Senior Ocho. Thanks again everybody. The HPs were the best cheerers on the trail and the Ocho could not have asked for more.

A Nomination for TeamHotSpeedo

Ladies, meet HP01's remodeler extraordinaire, HandyManHotPants! Not only is this guy a construction genius, he's also a TRIATHLETE! How kick ass is that? He even rocks the TRI on a vintage road bike, circa 1989. All he needs is the Mankini to accessorize that tank of a bike. Regardless, no one does it balls to the wall with power tools like HandyManHotPants. Really, look at him installing the support beam in HP01's attic...

Thanks to HandyManHotPants and HotNacho, the HPs will be brunching in the new, stylish kitchen come July. Just in time to grab the US mag and see pictures of TomKat's alien baby in its space cage.

As for HP01's week, she's been running, swimming, and burning calories on the elliptical machine. She also took Neil in for a pre-race tune up and he's all ready to go. ROCK ON!

Wow…Bulgaria…

This HP is back from her trip to Eastern Europe. In a nutshell, Bulgaria has a lot of beautiful scenery and tons of potential as a country. This is of course if you can get past the litter EVERYWHERE, the smell, and the inability to flush toilet paper. Yup, nice vacation. HA!! HP05 had a great time with her brother, despite being sick the entire time. The first half with a stomach issue and the second half with a full on cold. But, being sick does not stop an HP from taking advantage of her surroundings.

HP05’s brother took her on a hike the first full day in his town. After puking her brain out the night before, adjusting to the time difference and altitude, they started up a mountain. Unfortunately, 2 and a half hours later and only half the way up, they had to turn back. Sorry bro!! Thank goodness for benches, even though HP05's brother gave her a hard time for needing them when he did not!! She is very impressed with his in shapeness! The rest of the week was filled with tons of walking around southwest Bulgaria. HP05 has 3 new blisters on her feet AND wore through a pair of shoes, which she left in the hotel in Sofia. That’s a real vacation! She was also reminded of her love of Milka chocolate, loved the 2 liters of mountian fresh water for $0.50 and really good beer for $1!! A huge thanks to my brother for an awesome trip. It was great to see you, where you live, and the great things you are doing in the Peace Corps.


Congrats to the HP’s who did an awesome job in the Cherry Blossom 10 miler and those who are kicking ass in their training.

HP01 Hearts the Siete!

HP01 was unable to use the "comment" function on the Siete's post, so here goes...

HORALE, SIETE!!! tu posto es excelente! HP01 loves Shakira and appreciates rockin' it on the Pod. The DC HPs are way excited to see the Siente and hope that she can take her "kids" on a field trip to the Lake Anna TRI on the 23rd. Kids, grab a cow bell, look for the hotties with the Tankini, and give us a CHEER!

I MISS MY HOTPANTS

Oh my lovely Cherry Blossom ladies, it has been too long! The siete has been out of commish!
Here is estado de siete:
1) No Herculean events ahead. The Cherry Creek Sneak on the 30th and the Bolder Boulder on Memorial Day. Toning down extreme exercise in an attempt to make a mini-siete with Pico.
2) Coaching middle school track. Showing young girls the definition of toughness. We're just conditioning right now. Average practice: 2-3 mile run, 10 minutes of jump rope, 15 minutes of ab work, 10 minutes of plyometrics courtesy of the bleachers, 10 minutes sprinting on the soccer field, and 10 minutes of stretching. I'm molding future hotpants. Pretty soon they'll all look like this:
3) A lot of Shakira on the ipod right now. Contributing to the pictured physique. I'm close to looking like that. Seriously. . . .

4) A lot of bachelorette parties lately. A lot of opportunities to bust my mad dance moves.

5) I had a moment tonight where I laughed out loud and needed a telemundo speaking hotpants to appreciate. It was a teacher's FAC which can be fun depending on who you sit by. I got stuck by the talker. You know her. You all work with one like her. She goes on and on and on and on and on and on about absolutely nothing, never giving you a moment to speak or disengage eye contact. Finally I fled to the bathroom. And since all great epiphanies happen in the bathroom, I was thinking, "Dumb luck, I got stuck by el talko!!!" At which point I started laughing out loud. We have an el whoro, a Nacho, and now a moniker for all of those whose incessant talking evokes that fight or flight feeling within you: el talko/taco - whichever you prefer.

6) Siete drops in DC for the 8th grade trip chaperoning on Saturday, April 22. I believe we are staying in Crystal City. If anyone is up for a cocktail at a classy place like the hotel bar or the Chili's down the street, keep in touch.

xoxoxo,
7

A Proper Congratulations

This blog post is dedicated to the exceptional, extraordinary ladies that ran the Cherry Blossom 10 miler...they did it with ease, making other runners look like amateurs. Good job HP08 and 06!! You started the 2006 competition season out solid. Bravo!









As for the fans who braved the butt crack of dawn to cheer on the competing HPs, we did our job ladies, and we did our job well.

Team Caliente Pantalones awaits the Return of HP05

Only three days until HP05 returns from Eastern Europe....Oh Goodie!!!

HP02 arrived at the gym today pissed off and ready to kick someone's ass. A day full of ignored requests, performance evaluation forms and unprovoked tribulation from the bi-polar juvenile coworker at the day job ended with a client springing the 'ol "I-dont-have-enough-in-the-bank-to-pay-your-consulting-fee" bullshit. Rather than hypervenilating and jetting to the liquor store for a magnum of wine, HP02 took the high road and hit the gym with a vengance, riding the bike for 20 minutes, running on the treadmill for 15, ab work and stretching. After substantial vacations from the gym, HP02 finds that the only thing to keep her motivated is LOUD electronic, dance and/or break-beat music, and lucky for her she just downloaded a kick ass mix from Itunes last week. But in the middle of it all (in a collosial stroke of good luck) none other than 8 Mile came on the gym TV. As Emenem strutted around on the stage like the proud cock that he is, his testosterone-charged trash talk infected HP02, and she became the energizer bunny as peices of the 8 Mile song looped thru her head: "...Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged...Success is my only mothafucking option, failures' not...". Lake Anna is only 17 days away, and she may be only running for 3 and a half miles in the competition, but HP02 is ready to haul balls.
So who's game for a trip down to the course this weekend???

Coach HotSpeedo Decoded...

Coach HotSpeedo is a tequila shot pusher-man and I'm onto him...

Does anyone else see the resemblance?

I guess only dorks watch MadTV and Meet the Press. Guilty!