I choose Vokda. And Chaka Kahn

HP04 hasn't been working out. I'm too fat and too unmotivated. Not to worry, the realization that I have a TRI in 2 weeks will be getting me going soon. I'm also looking forward to bike fitting Friday with Ocho!! Wooohooo!! Neeeeeewwww Biiiikkkkkkkeeeee.

I do, however, want to share with my fellow HPs all that has been keeping my busy and away from the gym. Many of you may know that i have 6 weddings to attend this year. This past weekend was my cousin's wedding. It was a spectacular Bridget Jones moment for HP04 as she stood by and watched her cousin wed (same age) enduring a weekend of questions such as "why aren't you married?"

What kind of question is that? I've been asked that question a number of times. One individual, a former boss and good family friend, went so far as to say (after i replied to the question with my standard reply "i don't know, no one's asked") "Really? Really? NO one's asked?? No on has even asked...?" A defeated 04: "Um, no"'

And to make matters worse in a conversation Monday night with a guy I'd gone on a date with, he asked if he could ask me a personal question. I said, okay. And this is the way the conversation went. From here on out we'll call him "insensitive prick" (a little background on insensitive prick: he's legally separated from his wife in the process of divorcing and has two kids. i know, i know, i know - save your judgement ladies)

Insensitive prick "you're such an amazing girl. beautiful, intelligent, funny, it would just seem that if you're not married by now either you put up walls preventing it from happening or you have some sort of skeleton in your closet that comes out later on."

04 : "what kind of skeleton?" (already deeply offended, i decided to see how deep a hole he would dig himself)

Insensitive prick: "i don't know"

04: "well, clearly you've thought about this, and if you've thought about it enough to ask the question then i would think you would have some sort of example in mind of a skeleton that would preclude some man from marrying me"

Insensitive prick: "well, like a drug problem"

04: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? You really think that the only reason that could possible explain why I'm not married is because I have a drug problem? Well, it would certainly make my life more interesting but how about the fact that I'm an independent woman, who has a career, supports herself and is only 31??? I'm not the one that has a problem, it's you and the rest of society that have a problem. You're the one's that look at a woman such as myself who's 31 and unmarried and assume the only reason she couldn't possibly be married is that there is something so heinously wrong with her that it repels men, rather than it being a choice that I've made. Perhaps the question you should be asking is why were you so foolish to get married?? I'm not the one who's getting a divorce 12 years and after bringing two children into this world. I think rather you should be asking me, how do i have it figured out and how am i so smart as to NOT have made a foolish mistake of marrying the wrong person?????"

I don't understand it ladies, is this 1950?? I'm sooooo tired of that question. What the hell kind of question is that??? And at what point do people begin acknowledging those that are smart enough to wait for the right thing rather than jump at the first thing that comes along? I'm the first one to admit that i want to be married, but I'm also smart enough to also know i don't want to be divorced. I'm tired of being judged. I'm tired to being looked down upon as if something is wrong with me. So, that being said I've been thinking about ways to answer that question - as it always seems to come at weddings and i have 5 more to go...please cast your votes:

"Why aren't you married?"

"I don't know. Maybe its my third nipple or my 20 toes?"

"Well, I used to be a man. Could that have anything to do with it?"

"Well, I don't want to get into anything too serious because my sex change operation is in two months"

"It could be because underneath my clothes my body is covered in scales" (shout out to Bridget Jones)

"Because 1 in 3 marriages fail. How's yours doing?" (because its always married men that ask the question"

"Bugger off"

"Because I have really bad taste in men"

"The ink just dried on my 4th divorce. I'm looking for husband #5. Know anyone?"

"I have multiple personalities and don't like to take my medication"

"Vodka and I get along better than men and I do"